Mental Health Swims - My First Hosted Open Water Swim

About a fortnight ago, the Mental Health Swims (MHS) account followed me on Instagram, and within moments I was shooting the Founder, Rachel, a DM.

I couldn’t believe that I was seeing a model that was a mirror refection of Run Talk Run (RTR) but for open water swimming. The premise and goal is the same - facilitate a safe space where people can turn up entirely as themselves, whether they are happy, sad, anxious or meh. Normalising mental health conversation at the forefront, with an activity as a secondary bonus feature. RTR for running, MHS for swimming.

Unlike RTRs weekly regularity, MHS meet to swim just once a month which lowered the barrier to participation and hosting, since I wasn’t entirely sure that I could commit to a weekly swim. Fast forward about a week or so, and Rachel and I are chatting endlessly over the phone about our dreams and plans for both RTR and MHS.

I answered some of her questions about what it takes to scale such a beastly support community. We talked about the boring Health & Safety stuff, the logistical sign-up process stuff, and then we bonded over the emotional labour that we pour into these communities and the need for boundaries. If I wanted Rachel to come away with anything, it was to know that the boundaries she puts in place now will be the very lines with which she’ll save herself when MHS undoubtedly scales into something even more magnificent than what it is today.

So how was that first swim?

SCARY.

I have to admit that over the last 3 years I’ve developed a pretty solid routine around my RTRs that make them easier to navigate as a leader. What I mean by this, is that my confidence has grown.

Hosting this MHS for the first time, however, had me swimming in discomfort in the days prior… what would I say? What if a really competent swimmer turned up and I couldn’t facilitate their needs? What if my social anxiety flared up and I lost all communication skills in an instant? What if they could smell the sadness on me, and it was all too much?

It was like I’d been thrown back 3 years and I felt a wave of empathy for all the new RTR Leaders who show up to their runs in the first few weeks so deeply unsure of their right to be a “running leader”.

In the end, it was just my mum and boyfriend who came along for the dip and so any social pressure was alleviated immediately. I also massively messed up with tide times and so I felt incredible gratitude for the fact no strangers had seen this cock up!

So between Jake, my mum and I, we splashed in the shallow rock pools and slipped around on the seaweed and laughed at each other as we fell into deeper parts of the sea unexpectedly. We didn’t talk mental health…. but I could bring my most “Jess self” there and that was special.

Instead of hosting these monthly I think I’m going to hold them weekly. I want to build my confidence with open water swimming, and I want to build my confidence in facilitating a support group outside the realms of RTR too.

The world deserves mental health support that is accessible, and less intimidating than sitting in a circle raising our hands to share what little parts of sadness we can bare to expose. It’s up to us, your Average Joe’s, to make sure we are creating spaces where talking about your mental health is just so normal.

I think this is what I care about more than anything in the world… the running and the swimming… they’re just a lovely little bonus.

Join me next Sunday @ Holywell Toilets. Time to be confirmed - I’ll post it to my Instagram @jessicamaryrobson

Talking to Strangers - Happy To Talk Launch in John Lewis

On a very very chilly Wednesday evening this 4th December 2019, I headed to the John Lewis Sloane Square store… not to make a start on Christmas shopping, but to support Chris Zair in sharing the Happy to Talk campaign with JL customers and staff.

I say this so very often, but the best thing Run Talk Run has brought to my world, is the PEOPLE (like Chris and tonight meeting Lisa from Papyrus) who really give a shit about the same things that I do. Who really want to get people talking and supporting each other.

So what is Happy to Talk?

It is a social movement, encouraging people to talk on London’s public transport. Instead of sticking your earphones in and shutting the world out, Happy to Talk is about inviting connection in. It is about acknowledging the people around you, sharing a smile, giving a nod to a passerby. In a world that is so digitally connected, we appear to have lost the art of offline connection. Happy to Talk is the counter to that.

I wrote a post about why it is important to talk to strangers a little while ago, which gives more depth to the HTT campaign.

John Lewis Sloane Square are now stocking the badges to assist us in spreading the word about talking to strangers and creating a more connected London!

IT DOESN’T GET EASIER...
but it is always always always worth speaking in public not just about RTR and what we are doing, supporting our peers on our weekly runs… but actually to talk about my own journey TO creating Run Talk Run in the first place.

My voice cracked and my hands shook this evening as I tried to sputter something coherent about running and talking. Truth be told, I still get very emotional. It all means so much to me. I’ve accepted that this is all part of the public speaking experience for me and I won’t let it stop me continuing to talk.

SO, thank you Happy to Talk for supporting our amazing community. (£2 of every sale of a HTT badge is donated to RTR). You can buy your badge directly through the Happy to Talk website, or in the John Lewis Sloane Square store.

I am a Confidence Coach, and I currently have 1:1 sessions available to book in for 2020. If you would like to ask me any questions about this coaching, feel free to drop me a line. Or you can book in to have some time on the phone with me (for free, obvs).

We need to be talking to strangers

In the summer of 2018 I was recommended a book by my good friend Tom Haswell. I had zero expectations upon starting this book, I honestly thought to myself that it would be just yet another self-help-fix-yo'self-sort. I was nervous about the fairly controversial stance that the author took on anti-depressants, and I was in a good place mentally so didn't see the need for any more depression material.

This book, 'Lost Connections', was gobbled up by my eyes in less than 48 hours.

To say this is a controversial text would be an understatement, and there are a few things that I disagreed with when reading the book. If anti-depressants alleviate a persons symptoms of depression then I see no harm being caused by taking medication. But that's another blog for another day. This is about connection and talking to strangers.

The author Johann Hari depicts a story of depression being caused primarily by a lack of "connection", and the book is split neatly into the varying forms of connection that we are likely to be missing out on.

We are more digitally connected than we have EVER been. Having "insta-friends" is quite the norm, and it's easier than ever to ping your mum a Whatsapp every day instead of rustling up enough free time in your diary to pop round for a cuppa.

But the result of all this... communicating... is that ironically, we're not communicating at all. Not really. Not with our mouths and our eyes and our bodies.

We jump onto the tube and stick our heads into our phones, scrolling for the right playlist to take us to work, or shutting our eyes as we absorb another podcast about what (ironically) will make us a happier human.

What Johann argues is that we need to be interacting MORE with the people in our immediate community and just engaging in our environment.

I've felt the benefits of face-to-face communication, community, and consequently, connection, through running with the same group of gorgeous Run Talk Run pals every Thursday evening. But my positive experience with Run Talk Run, and reading this bloody awesome book has left me craving just more and more of that communication with the people around me.

I tried it in small doses at first. You know... actually SMILING at passersby, or actually making a comment out loud if I see something of interest whilst waiting at the bus stop with strangers. The shared "moment" is indescribably fulfilling, even if just for a moment. Even if it is just to acknowledge the mouse that has run by both of your feet. That is a moment shared between you and another human, and that feeling of "connecting" does us a tonne of good.

There is SO much to be learned from strangers. Even if we've grown up in the same area as another human, our experience of life will have been miles apart and that presents such a beautiful opportunity to learn and grow and develop.

Anyway, as I have been continuing to push past the discomfort and thoughts of

"what if they just stare blankly back at me"

or worse, what if they ridicule me

I have been presented with an opportunity to work closely supporting the amazing Chris Zair as he launches his new #HappyToTalk campaign.

The #HappyToTalk movement is selling badges to people who are willing to invite a smile and a friendly conversation into their world, whilst traveling around on public transport and going about their daily activities.

A decision to not stick your earphones in. Even if just for one commute a week. Even just for 5 minutes of your commute. Just to see what connection you might welcome into your world... what you might learn.

I am so very very excited to see just how massive this will become and I invite you to get yourself a badge and get on board with this talking to strangers malarkey. If not for your mental health, then for your "social health" as Chris so aptly puts it.

Buy your #HappyToTalk badge and get the conversation going.

What is the "end goal" for Run Talk Run?

I get asked this a lot. Like, a hell of a lot.

I used to find this question somewhat frustrating, and I’d react quite negatively. I realise now that this was just a defensive (and scared) reaction of mine.

It frightened me that people were expecting some grandiose outcome from Run Talk Run, that I wasn’t sure I could deliver. I couldn’t deliver it, because I didn’t even know what they were expecting when they asked this question.

What I have come to realise with Run Talk Run, is that there is no “end goal”. Some things in life simply do not have an “end goal”… they just are.

That’s not to say we don’t have goals at all. But our goals are not “end goals”, they are goals that will help us improve our reach, goals that will make us safer and more effective, goals that will hopefully ease the burden of mental ill health for as many people as possible.

I have three big goals for Run Talk Run in 2019:

• To have a RTR in every county in the UK

• To have a RTR in every state in the US

• To receive funding and/or a grant

These goals are designed to help us support people in as many places as we possibly can. Because I genuinely believe that us humans are more than capable of supporting our peers. These goals are also designed to help us operate more safely. Funding would allow us to provide training to run leaders, running kit for those attending, and further mental health support for those in the community if required.

I may not reach those goals, but I’ll be working damn hard on trying to make it happen – you can count on that. And heck, if we fall short, you can bet there will be plenty more new towns and cities offering a mental health support community that didn’t exist before. And that will be good enough for me.

So… no.  We don’t have an “end goal”.

We just have mini goals which should hopefully make seeking mental health support a good lot easier, and we’ll be having a lot of fun in the process.