What did I do before Run Talk Run?

Well this is set to be rather self-indulgent, isn’t it. A reflective little look at what Jess did before she stumbled her way into the realms of mental health support, running her socks off, and chatting to strangers.

I gave a Careers Talk at my old school, Roedean Moira House, today. Preparing what I was going to say forced me to take a look at my life in chronological order and figure out how I actually arrived at where I am today.

My “career” direction started with the decision to not go to university. Which, at Moira House, was rather a big deal. I could have gone, I had the grades to go, and I most certainly had the expectation from parents/teachers/peers to go, too.

But I was unsure whether I wanted to study Business or Psychology. I was unsure of what I wanted out of a career.

I knew that I wanted to be living and working in London, and I was kinda prepared to take whatever approach necessary to make that happen. Such was the nurturing way of Moira, we had a brilliant careers advisor who suggested a secretarial college in Oxford. I was less enthused by the idea of training to be a PA, but very excited by the words “they have great contacts with London recruitment agencies”.

I was sold.

I spent the year after 6th form working for my stepdad as an Office Administrator in contract catering, saving money for the course and getting some experience in the office which I didn’t anticipate would be as helpful as it was. I even picked up Sundays working in the kitchen, too, just to top up that income. It was a slog, and it certainly challenged my relationship with my stepdad too… but I did earn what I needed for Oxford.

Going to Oxford Media and Business School was a very natural progression from Moira House. Small, nurturing, all-female, and very structured. We were studying for an “Executive PA Diploma” and the course was as old-school as you’d expect. Touch typing, shorthand, itinerary-writing, report-writing, letter etiquette, phone etiquette… we were being shaped into identical little polished PAs ready to go and support the corps of London.

I speak about it now with an air of apathy, but i would 100% recommend this course to anyone who isn’t sure that university is the best option for them.

A few months after leaving OMBS, and about 5 rejections from interviews (remember I was shy and socially awkward), I landed myself the role as Office Manager at Bain and Gray. A boutique recruitment agency in Mayfair. Small, nurturing.. and again, all female. I felt at home. I was well looked after by the Directors there who, I believe, took a massive gamble on the shy girl.

Being an office manager in a small working environment suited me and my introversion down to a T.

• autonomy over my workload

• wearing ALL the hats - accounts, payroll, marketing, reception, the “office move”

• the ability to keep myself to myself

• being able to create routines and structure of my own choosing (DREAMY)

After 18 months of working in this role for Bain and Gray, I went and did the exact same thing for a sliiiightly bigger office in the world of Acoustics.

But, alas, my organisation skills were getting pretty damn good by this point and I found that I was getting through my workload with too much thinking time on my hands to wonder what else I could be doing.

NOTE - I am never ever content or assured that I am doing “enough”… I always feel like I could be doing more, somehow. This is a theme.

I started “THE LDN PA” which was essentially me marketing myself to fitness professionals on a freelance basis for admin and social media support. I absolutely loved the work I was doing for these guys. It was the first time I had tried to mix my passion for fitness with my “work” and it gave me the little entrepreneurial fire in my belly and knowledge that, well… I could create an entire career of my own choosing.

In the summer of 2017, this extra freelance work that I was taking on increased very dramatically. I had an inability to say no to work… I always felt like there would be a way to squeeze it in, somehow. This was the summer that I became depressed and it is only this reflection on my career that I am taking note of the impact that this extra work might have had on my mental wellbeing, too. Perhaps the fatigue from working freelance before and after my 9-5 hours made me even more susceptible to “feeling the feels” more strongly.

I ceased all freelance work around September 2017… and Run Talk Run was born in October 2017.

I continued to work as an office manager for that acoustic consultancy until November 2018, a whole year on from RTR’s beginning! I found that it was totally manageable to juggle RTR alongside the 9-5 when it was just the one support group that I was hosting… but as soon as that increased to 5 (in October 2018), I realised that actually, I could really make something of this mental health support malarkey if I put some more time into it.

So I did. I left my 9-5.

The rest is history.

Is that too blunt of an end to a blog? Possibly. We’ve arrived at our destination. That was my work, before RTR became my work.

If anyone has any questions about OMBS or my freelance personal assistance work (which ironically I’ve started to pick back up again - for the right clients, mind you), please do feel free to pop me an email.

London, I'm leaving you.

In August 2018 I moved into the flat I had purchased, with a man who I thought would be my "forever" (eye roll), and committed myself fully to the fact I would be in London for another 5 years at least.

After all, this is the place where you're meant to have your career, right? This is the place where you're meant to find your man, your home, your success, before leaving for the countryside for family-making and "settling", right?

Well, that was my plan. And it was going so well. After 5 years here I had found the flat, I had found the man, I had found the fulfilling purpose-driven career. But then the man fell out of love, and everything kinda deflated in an instant. The life I thought I was building, I thought we were building, was kinda just... gone.

I didn't have a plan B.

So I did what I thought was expected of me. I threw myself into making London "work" for me as an independent woman. I didn't need the man, I didn't need the flat. I could make this work. And to be honest, I know that I can make this work if I really want to. But that's the point... I don't think I do want to anymore. I am tired of London.

Moving to Bethnal Green was my knee-jerk reaction of "HA, just look at me succeed here in this stressful city despite everything telling me I should have given up by now". But that's not a good enough reason to stay.

My Plan A didn't work out, and that's ok.

But... I don't want my Plan B to be a carbon copy of Plan A.

I've drawn a line in the sand. My Plan B looks different now.

I've decided to take myself and the Run Talk Run mission to America, traveling around for 3 or so months to meet running communities in other cities. I want to show myself that London is not the only vibrant city I could happen to find myself in. I want to spend some time with me. I want to show the States just how flipping awesome the RTR approach is. I want to leave little breadcrumbs behind me of 'non-judgey' running and I want to have candid conversations about mental health maintenance with people from all walks of life.

I want to then replicate this (funds allowing, hehe) all over Europe.

Why? Because I can.

Because I think the world deserves more Run Talk Run.

Because it's about time I saw a little more of this awesome world.

But mainly, and importantly, it is because I am so so done with being in London and pretending that everything is how I want it to be. There, I said it.

When I return from my travels I don't see myself coming back here. Not because I don't love it, but because it just doesn't fit right anymore. It's like a jumper that you wore loads last winter but now feels too snug, too close, too uncomfortable. It's making me squirm a bit.

I've got a hell of a lot of thinking to do about where I see myself living when I come home. At the moment, Brighton is seeming like a terrific idea. Brighton is "home". But who knows... time will tell.

(If you know any keen runners living in the States who you think would love to hear about Run Talk Run, please put me in touch! I'm relying on you, running community, to help me make this happen!)