Yesterday morning, I was putting myself through some tough one-legged exercises concocted by the brilliant Kimi Ora Fitness when I somehow found myself dancing in between sets. It kinda struck me that I felt happy.
And THEN it struck me that wasn't it very odd indeed that I was consciously thinking about the fact that I was feeling happy.
In true Jess form, I spent a lot of time pondering the fact that I "shouldn't" have even noticed happiness. It "should" just be.
Don't you think its funny how happiness looks different on every single one of us, and it will feel different to all of us, and that we can't REALLY quantify it or measure it or do anything with it except revel in its presence when it chooses to arrive.
Some people say that happiness is a choice, and I personally think that this is total bollocks. Having lived with depression, "choosing" to be happy was not a simple one-off decision but rather a complex concoction of coping mechanisms that I had to introduce steadily so as not to overload my already exhausted being. It was a long and arduous process and not one that I wish to have to go through again.
Thinking positive thoughts is an easier feat for someone who is ALREADY in a happy state. Less easy for someone being utterly crushed by a feeling of an elephant sat on their chest and fog clouding their vision.
I've come to realise that I just #feelmyfeelings in an overwhelming fashion whether they are good or bad.
I'd be keen to know whether you think happiness is a "conscious" and overwhelming thing for you, or rather, is it something that creeps up on you in a more subtle contentedness? Some food for thought.